


I Love You

by xxashleyxx



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Humour, I Love You, Insecure Mon-El, KaraMel, Making Love, Misunderstandings, Not Episode Related, Overanalyzing, Overwhelmed Kara, Romance, Teasing (as always), Worried Mon-El, established KaraMel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 11:14:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12231690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxashleyxx/pseuds/xxashleyxx
Summary: “Maybe she thought he was joking those times that he had said it. Maybe she thought he didn’t really mean it. Maybe he just needed to say it to her face. To look her in the eyes in a serious moment and tell her to make sure she knew it was real. To make sure that she knew that he wasn’t trying to convince her to stay with him, wasn’t making a joke of it, wasn’t caught in the heat of the moment, wasn’t trying to pressure her into saying it back while in a room full of people.” -- Mon-El worries that Kara doesn’t love him. Meanwhile, Kara has trouble saying the words.





	I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Good evening (or morning, or afternoon) everyone!
> 
> Welcome back to another fic! No real angst, this time, I promise. Just a one shot with the good ol' smut that we all love so much.
> 
> This fic takes place in the back half of Season 2, but I've basically ignored the last few episodes of the season, so it doesn't REALLY take place in the timeline of the show I guess. I wrote this back before Kara had said "I love you" in the finale, so it was just my take on a possible reason as to why she hadn't said it to Mon-El before then.
> 
> Likely a broken record over here by now, but thank you all for your lovely comments here, on FF.net and on Twitter. I read everything and you're all so great. I'm just glad you guys keep coming back for more! I've been reading fanfiction for so long that when I started, people didn't even know what fanfiction WAS. Not that I'm so old or anything it didn't exist...it's just that nobody really talked about reading it unless they were so deep into a show and found the right message boards to talk on. I checked my AO3 stats recently and I never imagined that me, a person who's been into fanfic for YEARS, and a person who never thought anybody would want to read what she had to say, would have over 160,000 words written and posted. It blows my mind. THANK YOU for being there with me with this. I hope I can keep supplying you with fanfic for a long time because it really just makes me so happy to be able to do that for you guys and for myself.
> 
> Now, enough of my rambles! On to the fic...

He’d said it before.

He’d said it a few times actually.

To her.

Only to her.

_I love you_.

He said it that time she broke up with him, before the Music Meister had gotten into her head. _I love you._ He’d said it in a moment of panic; the words having been balancing there on the tip of his tongue for weeks. He said it when he didn’t know how else to get through how much he needed her; how important she was to him. But to his ears (and probably to hers), it just sounded like a last ditch effort to try to convince her that she should forgive him for lying, for omitting the truth about his royal status. The circumstances were unfortunate, but he had meant it. He’d meant it more than anything he’d ever said in his entire life.

He had said it again one evening when she was curled up in his lap as they watched TV. It was a few weeks after he’d confessed his feelings for her the first time. She had said something funny and he couldn’t even remember anymore what the joke was. He’d responded with a chuckle as the words slipped out of his mouth. _I love you_. He could have just played it off in a joking way, but she hadn’t turned to look at him and he felt her tense up against him. So he chose to ignore it, forget about having said it and just continue to watch the screen in front of them.

He’d said it another time while in the middle of their lovemaking. Her hands were running through his hair, her legs wrapped around his waist and he had his nose pressed into the crook of her neck. He had come so hard; his heart pounding, his thighs shaking, breath coming out in sharp pants against her skin and he had said it. Breathed it into her neck. _I love you_. Her hands stroked his back and she exhaled shakily against his cheek and soon after, they were both asleep; the moment never brought up again.

The last time, they were at the DEO and she was heading off to stop an armed robbery. Lead bullets were a no-no for him, so since the task would be easy for Kara to handle (and as a precaution for himself) he stayed behind. It was getting late in the day. He had said he’d wait for her at the loft. She told him she’d pick up dinner on her way home. She kissed him lightly on the lips as a farewell and he had called it out before she left. _I love you_. She lifted her hand in a wave, not even turning around to look at him before she jumped off the balcony and took flight. He thought maybe she didn’t want to say it back for the first time in front of all of the agents wandering around the DEO. He had turned to look around the room after she had left. Nobody seemed to even notice that she hadn’t said it back.

Maybe she thought he was joking those times that he had said it. Maybe she thought he didn’t really mean it. Maybe he just needed to say it to her face. To look her in the eyes in a serious moment and tell her to make sure she knew it was real. To make sure that she knew that he wasn’t trying to convince her to stay with him, wasn’t making a joke of it, wasn’t caught in the heat of the moment, wasn’t trying to pressure her into saying it back while in a room full of people.

Maybe he was overreacting.

But maybe he wasn’t.

Maybe there was a bigger problem here that he wasn’t realizing. Some reason why she wasn’t saying it back. What if she _didn’t_ love him? What if he was just moving too fast for her? What if he was so in love with her that it was blinding; that he didn’t realize that she wasn’t on the same page as him?

_Maybe, maybe, maybe. What if, what if, what if._

It was driving him insane.

But through all the doubts in his mind, he could _swear_ that he felt it; her love; that she loved him. He saw it in her eyes; the bright, clear blue shining out at him. He saw it in her smile; that toothy grin that she couldn’t suppress around him. He felt it in her touch; the feather light tickling of her fingertips as she ran her hands through his hair, across his chest or along his hips.

But she never said it.

She didn’t even look like she wanted to say it. Her mouth didn’t open as she paused before closing it again. She didn’t slip up an “L” sound, starting but never finishing the word.

He was pretty sure he had heard her whisper it once. He had heard “--ve you” one morning as his eyes fluttered open. She looked at him with shocked eyes as she said _“Morning.”_

He’d asked what was wrong, his face confused at her shocked expression. _“Nothing,” she assured him. “You just startled me,” she tried to smile. “I didn’t think you were awake.”_

But it might have been a part of a dream he had awoken from. Or maybe just his wishful thinking. He really couldn’t tell.

She had said it to Jeremiah in front of him before; that time they were escaping from CADMUS. He’d heard her say it to Alex, too. Once she’d said it to J’onn while he was in the room with them. The other day she was joking with Winn and she had said, “ _You know I love you_ ,” and his heart had skipped a beat just upon hearing the words passing her lips. She had said it so easily to him; to everyone else. So smoothly the words fell off her tongue and hit his ears. He’d felt it in his chest. A little pinch. Not much; not _really_ painful, but he felt it and it scared him.

He’d almost lost her before. A few times. Those times came as a shock. When the Music Meister had put her under. When his evil mother forced him to leave her; to leave his home. But, it’s like he could see this time coming. As if she were slipping away slowly and he was terrified, his arms reaching out to try to pull her back to him.

He didn’t like feeling this way. This helpless and reliant on another person. He didn’t like that she had his whole heart cradled in her hands; her strong, near invincible hands. Her hands may be strong, but his heart was fragile. He trusted her with everything he had, but it was like his own hands were just sitting there empty in return when he looked down at them. Just waiting for her to slide her own heart into them. Waiting. Waiting for so long that he was starting to doubt that he’d ever be given the chance to protect her heart for her.

He stared at her closed eyelids. She was breathing silently; in and out, breaths even and smooth as she slept facing him, both of their bodies beside each other on the couch. His back was to the table, hers to the back of the sofa, both of their heads sharing the same pillow, noses mere inches apart. They really should have gone into bed. It would likely have been much more comfortable, but they were face to face, softly chatting about nothing important when he noticed her trying to stop herself from drifting off to sleep; her eyes blinking rapidly as she tried to force them to stay open.

_He’d smiled and whispered, “Close your eyes, Kara.”_

_“I’m not tired,” she’d insisted._

_He’d chuckled at her softly. “Liar. Sleep. I’ll wake you in an hour.”_

_Her eyes had fluttered closed as a small smile slid across her lips. He’d kissed her forehead, his hand reaching around her, his fingers scratching up and down her back in a nonsensical pattern as she quickly slipped into slumber._

It had been nearly two hours since then. She’d probably be mad when she woke up; he having let her sleep for too long, but he didn’t care. She didn’t always get enough sleep because she was too often running around trying to save the city.

All of a sudden her eyes fluttered open and he smiled at her.

“Hi,” he whispered.

“Mmmm,” she stretched her back, her left arm flexing up and outward. “Hi. What time’s it?” she mumbled, one hand dropping down to rub the sleep from her eyes, the other landing on his chest.

He checked the time on his watch. “8:36pm.”

Her eyes opened wider. “Mon-El,” she scolded, “You were supposed to wake me up!”

“Shhh,” he shushed her, his hand pushing some hair from her forehead as it slid downward and into her eyes. “You didn’t miss anything. Nobody called. Nothing happened.”

She squinted her eyes at him. “This time.”

He smiled, his voice at a whisper. “ _Next time_ , I’ll wake you up. I promise.”

“Thanks, but I’m not sure I believe you,” she leaned in on a sigh, kissing his lips softly.

He stared at her for a moment, her eyes staring back, the corners of her baby blues crinkling slightly as a toothy smile broke out on her face. “What?” she giggled softly.

His voice was serious, remaining at a whisper, “I love you, Kara.”

Her smile quickly started to fall, slipping away and disappearing as she nodded uncomfortably in front of him. He noticed right away: the shift in the mood, the moisture hitting her eyes, glossing over her irises and clouding her view as she tried frantically to blink them away. But it was too late. He’d noticed.

Here it comes. This was it. She didn’t feel the same way. She was going to end it, here and now. He’d given her the perfect opportunity; the ideal opening to be able to send him away.

He quickly shook his head at her, his eyes wider than they had probably ever been. “Kara, I’m sorry. I won’t keep saying it,” he promised. “I don’t want to make you sad.”

She let out a sob and her hand came up to cover her mouth. His hands cupped her cheeks as he continued to shake his head.

“No, baby, no. Kara, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” His thumbs moved across her cheeks in a caress. “Forget it. Forget I said it. I won’t say it again.”

“Mon--” she tried as the tears in her throat choked her voice away.

“Come here,” he wrapped his arms around her back, pulling her into his chest, her left leg lifting to hook around his hip, the other tangling with both of his.

She shook her head against his chest. “No,” she mumbled against him.

“No?” he questioned, confused.

“Forget,” she coughed into his chest.

“Yeah, forget it,” he nodded, his chin pressing to the crown of her head.

She sniffled and mumbled into his chest, “I don’t want to.”

He furrowed his eyebrows as he clenched his eyes shut. “Kara, I didn’t mean to overwhelm you or anything. I just--I had to get it out. I look at you and I feel it and I just needed to say it to your face for once,” his eyes opened to look down at her. “To say it one time that I was happy and you were happy and now I’ve ruined it. I’ve upset you and I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as her teary eyes looked up at him.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. I don’t need you to say it back,” he insisted, but it made his heart hurt to say it.

Her hands reached up and wiped at her eyes as she started to pull out of and away from his hold on her. “I just…” she sighed heavily before clearing her throat. “I panic.” She paused for a moment. “You’ve said it before and I just…panic. I hear you say it and my heart starts pounding in my ears,” she explained, “and my throat goes dry and the words, they--they just don’t come out.” She closed her eyes. “I don’t know why. I mean, I’m just scared. I’ve…I’ve never said it before…to someone I was with. And those words…they’re important to me. I don’t want to just throw them around. I don’t know. It doesn’t even make sense.” Her eyes flew open to meet his.

He just blinked at her. Here he was, thinking that she didn’t want to be with him long-term and didn’t want to hurt his feelings by saying the words if she were planning to leave him anyway. Meanwhile, she was struggling inside, trying to make herself gather up the courage to take a chance and say it back.

When he didn’t say anything, her rambling continued. “I just…since I was sent away by my parents, I always worry about people leaving. And to feel like I do…to feel this strongly and then fully let go and say the words only to have you leave…it would just hurt so much more. And I mean, I’ve said it before: I don’t like being vulnerable. And what’s more vulnerable than saying those words to someone? It’s like taking your heart and handing it to someone…putting it in their hands and asking them to take care of it for you…not to drop it and break it.”

His own heart fluttered in his chest as he tried to hide his grin. She even had the same analogy as him.

“And it takes me a long time to accept that someone is staying, you know? To really _believe_ that they’re staying. That they’re not going to leave. I’m working on being better about that. But I--I just don’t want you to leave.”

He shook his head at her incredulously.

“I swear, I’m” he heard her gulp. “I’ll say it,” she clenched her eyes shut. “Please, just be patient with me and--”

She felt his mouth on hers, soft but insistent, muffling any words that she tried to get out as he tugged her bottom lip between his, her sigh reverberating against his lips. Her hands slid along his chest to wrap around his torso and she leaned backward, pulling him, bringing his body to cover hers as much as possible.

She broke the kiss for a moment, her eyes shut tightly. “Just…I want you to understand. Please, don’t be mad,” her fingers gripped at the front of his shirt as he stared at her in disbelief.

“Kara,” he smiled. “I’m not mad.”

Her eyes popped open, a look of realization passing through them as they connected with his. “I can show you, if you need me to,” she nodded. “I can’t say it yet, but…but I think I’m better at showing how I feel anyway.” Her hands fell to the bottom of his shirt, curling her fingers under the edge.

He shook his head as his hands landed on hers. “Kara, don’t,” he said simply, halting her movements. She blinked up at him. “I’m not _mad_. Nowhere near mad. And I’m definitely not leaving. You don’t have to say it. You don’t have to have sex with me or something,” his hands released hers and moved upwards, one pushing back her hair, the other settling on her neck. “I already know,” he whispered against her lips. “I can feel it every day I’m with you.”

The tears returned to her eyes again. His own eyes widened in concern. “Oh no, what’d I say this time?”

She shook her head with a laugh. “You’re perfect,” she whispered, fingers scratching at the stubble on his chin.

He laughed loudly, “I don’t think so.”

“But you’re perfect for me,” she continued.

“Well, that works then. Because you’re perfect for me, too,” he whispered as he leaned down to kiss the tip of her nose. “I don’t need you to say it back, Kara, but if you don’t mind…I’d like to keep telling you how I feel,” he shrugged. “Not to pressure you!” he added quickly. “I just…I don’t want to keep anything in when it comes to how I feel about you.” She turned him so that her back was resting on the cushions of the sofa, his body hovering above her as she pulled him down to kiss her.

He felt her hands trailing from his shoulders down his torso and back to the bottom edge of his shirt. She started to tug it upwards and he broke the kiss.

“Kara, I said you don’t need to. I understand now,” he nodded at her.

She shook her head, her hands not stopping their movements. “It’s not that. It’s just--I want to be with you.”

He nodded with a small smile as his lips descended on hers once more. He broke free of her lips as she pulled the shirt from his body, her hands then tangling in his hair. His hands fell to the edge of her shirt, sliding it upwards, his hands skimming her sides as he went. She squirmed against him as he tickled her, her smile breaking the kiss.

“Up,” he whispered and she raised her arms immediately, allowing him to remove the shirt and toss it aside. He moved back, balancing above her on his knees as he popped the button on his jeans. He slid them off his waist, removing them before returning to her, his lips to her neck.

“Mon-El,” she whispered and he hummed against her neck in response. “Thank you.” He eyed her for a moment. “For waiting for me to be ready to say it.”

“I’d do anything for you, Kara.”

He watched as a tear slipped out from the corner of her eye. His hand moved to her face, his finger sliding against her cheek to wipe it away before he felt her hands at the back of his head, pulling him down to her to kiss him again.

Her lips moved against him while one of her hands grabbed onto his as she tugged it to herself, pressing his palm flat against her skin where he could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

He knew he could feel it all along; her love. He could sense it in the way she looked at him, her eyes teary and pleading for him to believe her. Feel it in the way her heart was pounding against the palm of his hand right now. Feel it in the way her lips moved against his own.

He reluctantly pulled his hand from her chest before he slid his fingers into the waistband of her pants. He slid them down her legs, grabbing at her socks as he went. He slid off his own boxers and moved to reach behind her, his arms tangling in hers and he tried to unclasp her bra and she tried to grab a hold of his cock.

She was fast, already sneaking her hold onto him before he could slide her bra down her arms and he hissed at the feel of her hot fingers running across his skin. He cupped her breasts in his palms, his thumbs sliding across her nipples.

She sighed as her back arched, pushing her breasts into his palms, a smile slipping onto his face before he leaned down and sucked her right nipple into his mouth. She groaned at the feel of his warm tongue on her sensitive peak, her hands sliding through his hair and holding him against her. His lips closed tightly around her nipple, sucking then releasing, his tongue slipping around the areola before flicking against the peak.

“Mon-El, that’s--” she gasped as he tugged her nipple back into his mouth, his tongue swirling against her.

“Yeah? That’s what?” he teased at her inability to finish her thought.

She only nodded back at him and he smiled against her breast before moving to her left, his mouth giving her other nipple the same treatment.

Her hands gripped at his sides, her fingernails trying to dig into his impenetrable skin. She felt his hands sliding across her hips, his fingers hooking into her panties as he slid them down her hips and legs, his lips releasing her nipple, eliciting a whine of disappointment from her. He moved back to kneel near her feet, his fingers continuing down her legs to remove the fabric.

His eyes followed his own hand as he dropped her panties on the floor and when he turned back to her, she was coming at him, pushing at his chest and knocking him back on his ass in the middle of the sofa.

“Kara,” he spoke, but she shushed him.

“Like this,” she said as she fell into his lap, his hardened cock sliding against her abdomen. He nodded as his hands slid up and along her back, drawing her close to him.

She rose up on her knees as her hand cupped her sex, gathering her own wetness before sliding her hand along his cock. He groaned as he watched her movements. She was always so wet for him. She stroked him a few times before squeezing him and his hips thrusted upwards sharply.

“Kara,” he breathed, his nails scratching against her lower back as his eyes slipped closed.

“Yes?” she asked, her lips falling to his cheek.

“I need--” his voice cracked as he trailed off.

“What’d you need, baby?” she asked him, her lips pressed to his cheek as she continued to stroke him.

He moaned, his fingers digging into her sides. “Inside,” he whispered.

“Inside?” she questioned him. “Inside where?” she squeezed her hand around the head of his cock, her thumb sliding across and through the precum at his tip.

“Kara,” he whined, because she knew _exactly_ what he meant. She always did, but she would tease; always waited for him to say it out loud. “You. Inside you.”

“Oh,” she breathed, feigning surprise. “Of course,” she grinned at him as she rose up on her knees, directing his cock to where he wanted to be the most, sliding his head between her lips before angling him and sinking down on him smoothly.

He groaned loudly as her hips fell to meet his as she took in his entire length. She pressed her forehead to his as her arms wrapped around his neck. They held each other tightly for a moment, bodies pressed together before Kara lifted on her knees, moving above him before falling back down to meet his thrust.

He groaned as she fell back onto him, her hands gripping his shoulders tightly. “Kara,” he breathed, his voice strained. “I love you.”

She nodded, her hands running through his hair comfortingly as her forehead fell to his shoulder, “I know,” she whispered back.

She barely moved above him, just shallow movements of her hips when his hands slid to her thighs, helping her move on top of him; his hands squeezing into her flesh as her walls squeezed around his cock. Her breathing sped up as his grip tightened and she paused for a second, her climax not far away, but she wanted to wait; wanted to hold off. She didn’t want this to end so soon.

Then she felt him moving them; her body being lifted as she felt him slide out of her.

“Mon-El--”

“Shh,” he shushed her as he walked toward their bedroom. Her back fell to the bed and he hovered above her, his eyes meeting hers as he slid inside of her once again. His hands trailed along her arms, meeting her hands, lacing their fingers together and moving them; holding them above her head on the pillow. His lips met hers as he began to thrust; slow, lengthy, passionate and it brought tears to her eyes.

She could feel his love for her in every movement; in every thrust, in every squeeze of his hands, in every kiss. There was a fluttering in her belly as she could feel her orgasm rushing back again. She clenched her eyes shut, feebly pushing it away and he noticed. He always noticed.

“Let go, Kara, please.”

She shook her head, her hands releasing his before wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. “I don’t want to let go, yet.”

He smiled against her neck before kissing her there. “I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered as his hand slid between them, his thumb flicking across her clit.

She arched into him with a whine, almost angry at him for pushing her toward her release, but one of her legs hooked around his waist and she tugged him closer to her.

She was tightening all around him; her leg around his waist, her arms around his neck, her walls around his cock. She arched her back and tried to get his hand to slide from her clit.

“Mon-El,” she whimpered, “too much,” she shook her head. His hand fell from between her legs, wrapping around her back instead. His head moved into the crook of her neck as he thrust faster, bringing her closer to her release, her hands clinging to the muscles of his back.

She came with a gasp, her mouth dropping open silently as her walls squeezed at him, fluttering around him.

He kissed at her neck, his lips trailing up to and along her jawline before meeting her own. Her hands ran through his hair and down to his shoulders as she kissed him. She felt him sliding out of her as he smiled against her lips.

Her eyes fluttered open and she stroked her hands along his cheeks. Her view was clouded by tears, but her lips widened as he looked down at her; his eyes so bright and happy. Her own eyes slid closed as she let out a relaxed sigh.

He pushed back her hair, the blonde locks fanning out on the pillow behind her before he pecked her lips and pulled away. She felt his hardness graze her thigh as he moved and her eyebrows furrowed as she looked down.

“Mon-El,” she started as she reached toward him.

He shook his head to quiet her, his hand grabbing a hold of hers as he sat next to her and leaned against the headboard. “It’s okay,” he smiled as he gripped her hand. “I’m sure it’ll go away in a few minutes.”

Her eyes flicked up to his as she shook off his hand. “No,” she said as she sat upright. “It’ll go away right now.” She moved in front of him, her body straddling his legs as she grabbed a hold of his cock again. Her fingers gripped him firmly as she tugged, her eyes meeting his. He leaned in and kissed her, his fingers tangling in her hair as he pulled her face to his.

Her hand moved quickly between them, twisting around his shaft, her fingers then smoothing up and down the head repeatedly and he groaned. His hands slid to her chest, cupping her breasts, his thumbs sliding back and forth across her nipples, his eyes watching as the peaks tightened further. He could hear his heart pounding in his own chest as his gaze fell to watch her hands move. One of her hands cupped his balls, squeezing gently as she held him. She leaned in, her chest pressing into his, the tip of his cock tapping against her abdomen as she stroked him.

Her voice was a whisper at his hear, “It’s your turn to let go, Mon-El. Please? For me?”

He moaned loudly, “Oh, Rao, anything for you, Kara.”

She smiled as her hand moved faster along him. She could feel his balls tightening in her grasp and she nodded against him. “Just like that. Go ahead.”

“Kara,” he choked out, his eyes tightly clenched shut. “I think--”

“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay,” she nodded, her cheek pressed to his.

His hips were flexing repeatedly as he felt himself losing control, his hands gripping tightly at her waist as she stroked him firmly.

He let out a drawn out moan as he came, shooting out onto her stomach as she pressed against him. Her hand didn’t stop until he was fully spent, his body relaxing back against the headboard behind him.

His eyes fluttered open, a satisfied smile on his face as he met her eyes. She smiled at him, her hand slipping from his cock before she kissed him again.

“There,” she sighed against his lips. “Doesn’t that feel better?”

He nodded with a chuckle as his hands slid from her waist down to her thighs. His thumbs slid through his seed remaining on her stomach and he gasped.

“Oh shit, Kara, sorry,” his eyes were wide as they travelled her torso. He reached over to the table next to the bed, aiming to grab some tissue to help her clean up when she shook her head.

“Don’t bother. We’re just going to take a shower anyway,” she told him, her arms wrapping around his neck. “Carry me?”

He nodded with a grin as he moved off the bed, wrapping her legs around his waist as he stood and lifted her. He stumbled into the bathroom, their lips sealed together.

A few weeks later they were lying in bed together when she said it. An _I love you_ whispered at him in the darkness. He could see a layer of tears forming over her irises, a sweet smile on her face and he knew that it was worth the wait.

 

_END_

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave some love if you have the time!
> 
> Twitter: @_ashleymaria_
> 
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> 
> P.S. I still notify some people on Twitter when an update or new fic has been posted -- please send me a tweet or DM if you want me to add you to that list (or if you want to be removed)!


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